Will doesn't learn lessons.
That's what I learned in this last trade with Will. You see, last time we traded, he mailed me a bunch of extra stuff and I punished him by accepting those items as bARTer Sauce trades and sending him whatever I wanted out of the bARTer Sauce collection in return. Then, in this last trade package from Will -- what did I find? A bunch of extra stuffs. Sheesh. He sent me some bits for Shower Art so we won't punish him for that. He also sent me an awesome nerd hat made of hemp that I liked so much I wore it to bed and woke up with it on my toe. We will not punish him for that since it has given me such joy.
He will however be punished for sending me the Armless Anatomically Correct Bunny Rabbit. That needs to be in the Sauce. For sure.
And here's the "interview" questions I made up for Will. Enjoy:
Q: Where did you get the hat?
A: Not exactly sure, but I believe I got it from a weirdo thrift store that I frequent. Their cause, Spaying and Neutering animals. That's what all their money goes to.
Q: How could you give up the hat?
A: Easy. I packed it in the box and never thought twice about it. The hat no longer needed me. It yearned for freedom, so I set it free.
Q: Do you like Grapenuts ever, or do you just think you'll like them, buy them and then remember it's like eating dirt?
A: I liked Grapenuts as an accessory to other cereals that tend to sog too much like frosted flakes or cheerios or perhaps something exotic like fruity pebbles. I hate them on their own and, frankly, I haven't eaten any as cereal accessory in at least a year or maybe more.
Q: Is that baby in your picture yours or someone elses?
A: That baby is totally mine and it's my second, babiest baby. My toddler baby is in many other pictures on my facebook page and elsewhere on the interwebz.
Q: Have you ever played Magic: The Gathering?
A: Twice, both times I used a borrowed deck and got destroyed, then I realized how stupid it was and went out to get drunk/high or have some other college related fun.