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Your Own Private Rosalie

Original Owner: 
Ariane
A Cardobard Woman Enjoying A Meal Of Unicorn Steaks
Cardboard Woman Making Pottery While Wearing A "Throw Naked" T-Shirt
A Cardboard Woman Playing Pinball
A Cardboard Woman Painting
A Cardboard Woman Wearing A Blue Mouse Mask
A Cardboard Woman With A Tambourine and Maracas
Cardboard Woman Drinking A Glass Of Red Wine
A Cardboard Woman Drinking Red Wine And Making A Rude Gesture
A Cardboard Woman Drinking Wine Straight From The Bottle

Ariane's Story about Cardboard Cutout Rosalie

I made this Cardboard Rosalie Cutout so that I could trade my Barbie Monster Fish with her for a piece from the Museum of Bad Art which I use to commemorate my grandma's late cat, Tiger. Since I made it, people have danced with it, marveled at it, and looked at me like I was crazy. I am. And so am I.

I also like cigarettes. I don't smoke them very much, but I look really cool when I'm holding one.

Ariane's email to bARTer Sauce:

Thus far, your cut-out has just been hanging out at my house, drinking my wine, eating my food (mostly just unicorn tenderloin), playing my pinball machine, learning how to do pottery, (which by the way, you suck at, you'll see when I trade the pot you made.) And you've been doing a little painting. You've also been crashing on my couch, and dancing to Latin Jazz on the weekends. You tried to go trick-or-treating but all you brought home was some moldy cheese the crazy lady down the street gave you. We ate it anyway.

These photos were taken by Shawna Hight who laughed so hard during the photoshoot that I was afraid for her life.

I'll be sad to see the cardboard Rosalie go, but at least I'll have my couch back

A Note From bARTer Sauce:

Please understand that this item will only be traded to the most trusted of individuals. If there is any question what you're going to be doing with a cardboard me...well, the deal is off. Wait though, really....why would anyone want a cardboard me?

You know, the news is always asking me if I've ever been tempted to keep any of the bARTer Sauce items. Now I have an answer for them. One that they won't print. I want to keep cardboard cutout Rosalie because I'm afraid of what will happen to it. And now don't think I'm egotistical...like I think a cardboard cutout of me is so hot that someone will want to do things to it. But really, there are some people out there who are not right. I'm sure that's some kind of fetish thing. Cardboard cutouts. It has to be. Everything else is. Feet. Fish. Yes, I said fish.

I'm done with this line of questioning. It's not taking us to a very nice place.

Drinking Problem

dgale's picture

Cardboard Rosalie clearly has a drinking problem.  Which makes me wonder:  if she were to wind living on the streets . . . would she worry about other winos using her for a house?