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Transvestite Robot

Original Owner: 
Transvestite Robot, an Item In bARTer Sauce
Transvestite Robot, an Item In bARTer Sauce
Transvestite Robot, an Item In bARTer Sauce
Transvestite Robot, an Item In bARTer Sauce

Nik's Story that came with Transvestite Robot:

A story. An awesome one.

I'm going to solve Earth's biggest riddle! I figured out the meaning of life, I started looking at the universe as a whole and realized that the human race over complicates everything. Kind of like if you're waiting for someone, you don't know where they are, you start inventing scenarios. That's where we get religion. So scratch that.

No one knows what happens to us after we die and I don't either outside of the fact that the toy stops working. It's a mute point. There are only two constants with life besides eating and pooping. It's reproducing and communication.

Humans, dolphins and a few other animals have sex for pleasure. Snakes have orgies. Mantis' eat the head of the mate which causes his body to finish copulating. Birds are often monogamous and Cane Toads are necrophillic. There's nothing else that all life forms share from platypus to tyrannosaurus rex. The answer is in the whole. Even plants communicate. Oh yeah and kangaroos have a pronged penis (Tank Girl is funnier after you know that).

I was watching this documentary about ants. They built bridges out of themselves to cross streams. I wouldn't say several 'volunteered' to drown but they certainly must have been aware, "Oh crap, water in my mouth, can't breathe! Fuck I'm dead!". The nonchalant way they didn't take any issue with their demise made me think that these tiny little insects had it all figured out. They simplified the big plan. Life and death don't matter, it's the bridge that does.

Mind you past theories of existence have been:

  • Life is an arcade game for God
  • We are all God and life is the only way we can be aware of ourselves
  • God was once one being but shattered like a mirror and all of us are it trying to find itself
  • When we die we become God and build worlds
  • When you die you get the cheat codes and the skinny on The Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot
  • God is really a big soul hungry amoeba that dines on trusting humans
  • Humans are merely devices to explore this planet ; Organic life is the best space suit / and many more