Brit's Story about the Single Parent of a Paper Bag Skeleton Puppet Family:
Little did you know that this box, once opened, would compel an single adult female PaperBagSkeletonPuppet to leave her two small children behind. I don't know what was in the box... but, whatever it was... it was way more important to her than the two little ones she had left at home pinned to the refrigerator that night.
Or... maybe I've been wrong about this family all along. Just because this PaperBagSkeletonPuppet is big doesn't mean that she was the adult in this family unit does it? Afterall, the two small PaperBagSkeletonPuppets (one female... one male) were here first weren't they? Hmmm... maybe opening the box really just gave this big puppet the necessary strength and knowledge to fledge... or.. whatever you call it when PaperBagSkeletonPuppets grow up and leave home.
Hmmm... I really do wonder now... is she the a child or is she the parent? History, of course, is important is deciphering this mystery. It is historical fact that those two small paperbag puppets were here first... a failed bARTersauce trade. Remember Rosalie (Goddess of bARTersauce)? Do you remember what you did? It was kinda like that ol' tale of the Dude and Barabbas. Remember? These two extraordinary beings (those two wee joketelling hand puppets)... they were offered up to the Chop Suey masses. Their fate--the ability to enter the annals of bARTersauce lore--was DENIED. That gaggle of giggling LaffHole inebriates... for some unfathomable reason... chose a forsaken popsicle stick lamp instead. That audience forced you to trade the Museum of Bad Art's COCKfighting picture for a popsicle stick lamp!! Ye GADS!
But... maybe it was a necessary sacrifice. Maybe without that betrayal... the glorious PaperBagSkeletonPuppet that saved me from not having a nifty Halloween costume this year would never have been born, right?
Because, it was backstage after that trade... in the dark murky dungeon of the Chop Suey dressing room that I found them and I loved them and I gave everything I had with me that night to make them my own. And, by gazing on them, by learning their mysteries, by having faith in their ubercoolness, I fashioned the third or fourth coolest Halloween costume I have ever made in my entire life--after the #1 Full Body Metallic Slug, #2 Papier Mache Ganesha... and maybe the #3 Lydia (from the Beatlejuice movie) costume that I had when I was 11yo (and was only cool because I was 11 at the time).
The title of the Halloween costume was "PaperBagSkeletonPuppetSingleParentFamily" because I wore the two small puppets on my hands... and kept walking around telling people to "Please, sir, please, m'am, won't you take these little one's off my hands?". HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! (And I'd laugh at my own joke just like that because even if nobody else thought this was funny at least I did and that made it ok.)
Anyway... now I'm totally messed up... I don't know if me calling the big puppet the parent actually made it so or not. It's kinda a catch-22 don't you think? One thing I do know, however, is that this Halloween costume would never have existed without bARTer Sauce. And, Colin... if you are reading this... part of me wonders if maybe... just maybe... that bARTersauce Goddess Rosalie's wilful denial to trade the Worrying Man to you was also necessary for the manifestation of this very special PaperBag being and my very Happy Halloween to be. Afterall, the two small PaperBagSkeletonPuppets might never have been offered in trade had that COCKfighting picture not been presented as bait.
So... maybe... Colin... your pain and sacrifice saved Halloween for the rest of us. For me... and for whoever wears the costume next Halloween... and the person who wears it on the Halloween after that... and the one after that, etc.
Wow. That's awesome. Thanks Colin. Thanks Rosalie. You guys are cool!
PS. I'm only able to trade the big puppet. For some strange reason, I can't get the small hand puppets to let go of the refrigerator...