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Janie Trades Me Ancient Dominos for Fear and Loathing of Penguins

Terminator Penguin, an item in bARTer Sauce
Terminator Penguin, an item in bARTer Sauce
Terminator Penguin, an item in bARTer Sauce

Janie was oddly quiet while I held her down and forced her to answer my "interview" questions. It might have been the duct tape that I put over her mouth during the parts where she wasn't supposed to talk. So I guess "oddly quiet" isn't the right description. Exactly right quiet. That's what it was: 

Q: How long do you think it would take to teach a monkey to sew?
A: Obviously it depends on the monkey.  Spider monkeys can learn easily, as they already know how to weave. (Their monkey spider webs) 

Sean Trades Me Empire Man and Faceless Wedding Couple for Hairy Lady and PillowMan

Sean, in the bathroom

Sean has done so many trades with bARTer Sauce that I was on the verge of considering him a real friend even though we have never met in person.

He ruined it all by taking my "interview questions" very literally. Bastard.

Temple had a really different take on them. Now that's how you answer my "interview questions." Seriously. Sean is a bastard. Email him at theovenhelp (at) Tell him.

My "Interview Questions":

Temple Trades Me Stuffed Dooky Kiss for Tiny Head

Temple and a stuffed kiss
Temple's Extras
Temple's Extras

Temple was subjected to my "interview" questions...which are..well, of a rather even odder nature than normal.

She was kind enough to play along:

Q: What did the monkey say to the fork?
A: EeeeeooooOOOOoahahahAHHAH AH AH AH!

Q: Why?
A: Monkeys don't need forks.

Q: How come the fork can talk?
A: It is actually a tuning fork and only says one thing, "OM!"

Nik Trades me Tattooed Vintage Farting Duck for Two Red Screamers

Nik or Vanilla Ice?

Nik offered me this Vintage Farting Duck that was very cool in its own right but I asked him to tattoo it for me.

I'm glad I did. It was cool before but now it's freaking awesome. It also proves that I can make Nik do some things....maybe not anything...but at least some things.

Monkey Shelf

Original Owner: 
Monkey Shelf

Mike, Curator-in-Chief at the Museum of Bad Art gave me this piece out of his personal collection. His wife was tired of it. I don't blame her. Especially if she ever tried to carry it anywhere. It's heavy. Really, really heavy.

Mike gives me the monkey shelf in exchange for a naval officer hats

bARTer Sauce Trade
bARTer Sauce Trade

Here's Mike and I trading a naval issue hat for a horrible shelf like thing that is being held up by a monkey.

Mike said he traded it to me for the hat because his wife won't let him hang it up in the house. Can you imagine not wanting this in your house???

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