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Coy Trades Me Pickled Eyeball Candle and Robot Baby for Tin Can Lid Necklace and CyberDonkey 3000

bARTer Sauce Trade
bARTer Sauce Trade

Coy Powers, the creator of the Pickled Eyeball Candle (swoon) and the Robot Baby Picture, has lots of stuffs online that you should look at:

The Coy Powers Blog
Twitter: @coypowers
Etsy Shop
Gallery
Facebook Fan Page

Robot Baby Picture

Original Owner: 
Coy Powers
Robot Baby Hybrid, An Item In bARTer Sauce

Coy's story that came with Robot Baby Picture:

RX23 was very excited when his son arrived from the factory, hoping he would end the rift between the families. Being PC and American to boot, while his wife was pure 100% Japanese engineering (Honda), meant that many thought they would be totally incompatible. RX23 took it all in stride, though.

The families fought on occasion, as is to be expected, and his wife's family, was always the more sophisticated of the two, but still, they loved each other.

Hand of Doom!

Original Owner: 
generalchaos
Hand of Doom!

Stacy's Story that Accompanied the Hand of Doom!:

Ok
In keeping with the Halloween theme....
(True Story!)

When I was in college, I belonged to an outdoor club. Some of the members lived in a house together - a huge place, built in the early 1900s if not earlier. Most of them were a couple years ahead of me, and after they'd all graduated, I asked about renting it.

Still Life With Ron

Original Owner: 
pandaschwartz
I challenge you to determine the nature of the object on the far right.
Still Life With Ron (After Nik's Remix)

Ron's story about the still life:

Here is the story on the painting, it is both hilarious and sad. It was given to me by a guy named XXXXXXX, who is a bicycle rickshaw guy in Pioneer Square. He is currently homeless, I think. I say "I think" because I'm not sure, but "I think" he was living in one of the homeless camps that the City closed down. I give him money sometimes but he prefers to "sell" me something (last night I gave him $10 for a used glass marijuana pipe, which I am going to soak clean. Or maybe throw away).

He was hit by a Metro bus last year and for about 6 months was claiming that he was getting a settlement of $35,000, and would be paying everybody back. He'd come in and say "I just got back from the lawyer and signed the papers." But he stopped saying that lately.

I once bought a bike from him for $10. He has tons of bikes. . .in fact, he is something of a "bicycle savant" and can fix anything to do with a bicycle. We call him "D.O.T." (as in Department of Transportation).

He may even be an artist, he has some rolled up canvasses that look like paintings. He also always has picture frames that he tries to sell me. Actually, I suspect he gets them out of art gallery dumpsters in the neighborhood, or maybe just dumpsters.

He sometimes just gives me stuff. He gave me a Seattle Mariner "staff" golf shirt last year. He also gave me this painting. It is in a cheap black wooden frame with no matte, but the back was sealed with butcher paper like someone took a lot of care in framing it.

Nicolas trades me "Scary Clown" and "Drinkey Clown" for "Four Boobed Alien with Dingle" and "Pokemon Drawing and copy of Other Voices"

Nik, being creepy
Nik, being creepy

More and more trades are happening through the mail these days as bARTer Sauce expands to every corner of the world to prepare for our eventual takeover/world domination.

I ran to the post office just before closing and the same woman helped me who got mad at me last time for trying to mail huge packages two minutes before the post office closes.

This time nothing happened.

Nothing at all.

She was even almost pleasant.

So that's not a good story at all.

Picture of Amber

Original Owner: 
Rosalie Hates K...
A Picture of Amber
A Picture of Amber (remixed by Nik)

Rhiannon is my lovely friend who gave me this faux fossil and a picture she drew of her friend Amber months ago as a donation to bARTer Sauce.

She told me that she wanted Stone Face

Rhiannon Trades Me Faux Fossil and Picture of Amber for Stone Face

Woman Holding a Heavy Stone That Looks Like a Face
Woman Holding a Heavy Stone That Looks Like a Face
Woman Holding a Heavy Stone That Looks Like a Face

Okay, do you want to know how heavy Stone Face is?

Well, example #1 is that we've kept him on our balcony since we got him. He held down some straw mat thing I bought at Bed Bath and Beyond before I burst into flames (I burst into flames at large, horrible stores like Bed Bath and Beyond and Ikea. "Burst into flames" = had panic attack).

Sean trades me "Guy With Drip of Urine" Drawing for "Pin Up Girl with Meat Wings"

A Package Covered In Red Tape With Black Ninjas

This trade is in the works but it's happening through the US mail.

Which means it won't happen anytime soon.

I meant to mail it today, but there is a wind storm.

And it seemed like a terrible idea to walk to the post office.

But someday. Someday soon.

Angry Naked Man

Original Owner: 
Learys
A Naked Angry Man With A Drop Of Urine On His Penis (Not Pictured)
Horny Naked Man - Remix of Angry Naked Man

Sean's story about Angry Naked Man:

In my Drawing II Figure Studies Course last semester we would occasionally have models come into class to do quick gestural studies of. One might be skeptical of folks who volunteer to show their jumbly bits to 18 - 25 year olds for small change an hour, so you can imagine the ones who do volunteer are quite interesting. Needless to say we had one interesting man who would come to class and model. I don't know his real name, but we all soon knew him as the "Angry Naked Guy" or simply, Ang. Quite literally so. When scheduled he would show up late, chewing nicorette gum, chomping away and NEVER SAY A WORD. He would simply show up, de-robe and stare off. Not at anyone - just off - into Anger Land, at least I'd like to think so. Turns out at the end of the semester we found out this man was never paid for his work - nor did he ever get a background check - or anything. Frankly put - he was never hired - but showed up anyways. No wonder he was so angry!

The 3 minute gesture sketch I am putting up to offer is especially special to me because of what happened right as he went to work this day. After returning from a 10 minute break Ang returned, derobed, jumped up onto the platform and stared off in anger, chomping away. The lights were dimmed and a spot light hit him, the professor yelled, "Begin!". Intantly my eye was caught and I found myself staring at his crotch - only to find a glistening form. That's right - a drop of urine gripped for dear life to this man's penis. For the next three minutes I had to awkwardly stare and draw this man as his jaw chomped gum and his penis dangled pee. I feel it would be a beautiful addition to any bathroom. Throw this puppy into a frame and he'll be yours forever! Crafted in charcoal and white conte he'll be you're most talked about naked angry piece of art yet!

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