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Nik Trades Me Lost Cock and Undead Mosaic Clown Painting for French Phone and Cross WIth Weird Stuff On It

Nik on PBS

As usual, I made Nik answer some "interview" questions.

Since Nik trades with me at a feverish rate, now I force him to not only answer the questions, but also to make them up. Here's what he came up with this time:

Q: What are galleries you should know about:
http://www.sideshowstudios.net
http://www.hyaenagallery.com

Undead Mosaic Clown Painting

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting

Nik's story that came with the Undead Mosaic Clown Painting:

I used to be a clepto. I stole anything and everything. I even fit a giant stuffed monkey up my sleeve once. It got so bad I'd walk out of stores clicking and clanking with half the store. I never got caught and sometimes I was outright sloppy.

Will Trades Me a French Phone, a Russian Book, Totem Pole Shaped Trophy & a Cross for Terror Clown Painting, No Face Wedding, Hugs for Jesus Statue and Dooky Kiss

Will and some baby
Will, as a hippie

Here's the thing.

Lots of people like to send "extras" to The Sauce along with their official trade offers. Lots of people. Pretty much everyone. I've let it go in the past, but - like I say below - I decided to make an example of Will and punish him for doing the same thing that many others have done in the past.

Jessamyn Trades me her Brain Scan and Fancy Mask (and accoutrements) for Drag Queen Clown and Kill You in Your Sleep Teddy Bear Lamp

Jessamyn and some horns.
Rosalie and Jessamyn doing a bARTer Sauce trade

As per usual, I have subjected Jessamyn to my own brand of "interview" questions.

This tradition began long ago when I used to pressure myself to come up with an engaging and funny story of my own to go along with each trade. Well, after about a million or so trades, it seems I have run out of stories, so now, I make my Sauce traders work extra hard by telling me a story AND answering my lame "interview questions." Personally, I think this solution is genius. Plus, I'm lazy.

Drag Queen Clown

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Drag Queen Clown

Nik's story that came with the Drag Queen Clown:

This Halloween my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. Years ago, for our wedding I rented out the Parkway theater in Oakland, CA and everyone came in costume. I dressed up as Beetlejuice and my wife was in a renaissance green dress. After the ceremony we screened Bride of Frankenstein and ate cakes that were in the shape of skulls.

Nik Trades me Drag Queen Clown for Picture of Amber

Crazy Nik Face
Amber Alert By Nicolas Caesar

Nik trades with me a couple of times a month at least so I'm not quite sure how many "interview" questions he has had to endure but I do know that I now have a lot of trouble coming up with good ones.

For this trade I made Nik think of five questions and answer them. I know, I'm surprised he even talks to me anymore.

Q. What are you working on now?

Tim Trades me Giant Pig Face for Drinky Clown Painting

Pigface! Pigface!

Tim came to the April First Thursday art walk, looked at Nicolas' Drinky Clown Painting, turned around, ran home and came back with a giant painting of Pigface.

It's big.

Really big.

It's the biggest thing I've ever received. It's bigger than the credit card costume. It's bigger than Mrs. Woo. It's the biggest. And it's all Pigface. Every inch.

Patrick Trades me Time Machine Parts and Tiny, Landscape Painted on a Pill for Scary Clown Painting

Close-up of Patrick's 'Dog's Playing Poker' shirt. I'm jealous.
Close-up of Patrick's 'Dog's Playing Poker' shirt. I'm jealous.
Me & Patrick doin' a bARTer Sauce trade

Patrick came by First Thursday with his wife Tina.

Actually, he dropped her off with the Time Machine Parts in front of the studio and she did much of the negotiation ("Are there any guys in here who can carry these Time Machine Parts? They're heavy!") while he circled the block many times looking for parking.

Drinkey Clown

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Drinkey Clown

Nicolas' story submitted with "Drinkey Clown" (bARTer Sauce's title...not Nicolas'....if that is his real name):

When I lived in Oakland California I found a Billy Dee Williams Colt 45 cardboard standee outside my neighborhood liquor store in the trash. "Score!" I thought and I raced to gaffle this treasure of treasures. Halfway home I realized by the smell that the homeless had been using it for a toilet and so I left it in an open convertible. I had hoped the owner - upon returning to his car - thought Billy Dee spontaneously visited him and wanted to be his Return of the Jedi co-pilot... but he/she probably thought it was an ex trying to get back at them.

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