Eva's story that came with Animal Vocabulary Toasts from Japan
OK so I'm a tad intimidated by this story thing, it being my first time and all. I'll tell a story about stories.
When I was a kid my grandfather used to tell me stories all the time. They always started "Once upon a time there was a girl named Eva" and they never really went anywhere but that didn't matter because I was the main character and that was exciting in itself.
Once upon a time, in the City of Brotherly Love, there was a girl. A Girl who was strange but happy. Perhaps not always happy, but content. Her life was a comfortable blend of work and play. But she was lonely. She sought companionship in inanimate objects, since humans are notoriously unreliable.
The day after yesterday I turned the corner in my car and faced with a 20% downhill grade that ended with a T intersection and I5 30ft below the barrier I wondered if I'd be projected through the window or had enough momentum to break past the barrier in a 6000 lb SUV Swan-dive.
Then I said to myself outloud like Butch or Sundance, "let's do it."
I haven't laughed that long in a while. Moral: Never lose your sense of humor.
I was working as a custom leather fashion designer in Hollywood CA in 1999 at a place called S.K.K.I.N. We were doing up scale design for people like Insync, Lenny Kravitch and Madonna, not to mention a few other people. I had worked leather before so I was a shoe in and wanted an insider view of the fashion industry. After about a year of doing this I moved to Alaska for the summer to work as Exc. Chef aboard scientific research vessels in the Prince william Sound,
What do you make when you're thrown into a pottery with no experience in sculpting? Skulls, of course! I found skull cookie cutters on eBay and spent a few weeks making the damned things. Many skulls emerged from the clay, but only these three remain. They were meant for assemblage art, but I never got around to it and they calmly requested that I not donate them to charity like I did to many of their brothers. When I get to tidying, I often rid myself of much of my "work." This trio is looking for a purpose...
So I'm sitting in sculpture, looking out on the water and I think to myself "Jesus Christ, I don't need all this stoopid shit I've been collecting". You see, for the last 12 months I have been collecting flat round things.. anything, pennies, I lifted a sign off the curb the other night because it was a disk shape.
I do a lot of trades. A LOT of trades! Rosalie can tell you I do more trades than a crackhead does crack. (NOTE from The Sauce: I once had to ban Nik from the bARTer Sauce website for the summer so I could do something other than sit behind the computer and update his trades.) Though that's assuming Rosalie has met and befriended crackheads. I don't think she does. People who buy organic fruit don't often hang with them. I think it's because you can't smoke fruit. Most fruit.
